LA LANGUE FRANÇAISE
Sometimes, you love something and can’t quite explain why.
I’ve been actively learning French since 4th grade. And while I’ve always had a flare for the language, true bilingualism evades me.
Sure, after this long, I can move around a French-speaking country relatively easily and converse much better than an average tourist. But French will never feel as natural to me as English. It’s not and will never truly be “my” language.
All of this shouldn’t matter. Like at all. Seriously—I have no real need to learn French. I don’t use it regularly for work or in my daily life.
And yet, I crave it. Language morphs and changes and learning a language is a slow, nonlinear journey. There is something exhilarating and humbling about attempting to master something ever-evolving, just out of reach.
Recently, I happened upon Jhumpa Lahiri’s beautiful memoir, In Other Words, which she wrote in Italian, her adopted language, which she, too, has no reason to learn other than personal desire and determination.
Her words stuck with me:
“
When I give up English, I give up my authority. I’m shaky rather than secure. I’m weak. What is the source of the impulse to distance myself from my dominant language, the language that I depend on…? How is it possible that when I write in Italian I feel both freer and confined, constricted? Maybe because in Italian I have the freedom to be imperfect.
”
—Jhumpa Lahiri, In Other Words
I hope my own imperfect language-learning journey continues to be a source of creative inspiration. I don’t see it ending any time soon.
Small moments in my French-language journey over the years that have felt like big wins:
Having a fluid 3-hour-long conversation with my French roommate in Marseille
Remembering that they use a different word for ice cream in Québec than in France
Being told “tu as l’air française” by random folks sitting next to me while drinking a beer in Belgium
Reading LinkedIn posts in French and understanding *most* of the work jargon
Watching Call My Agent in French, mostly without subtitles
Note to self = Learn how to say these English turns of phrases in French